You know how you start the day and something small happens, like you forgot to bring your gym clothes to work, or you discovered a scuff on the back of the shoes you wear practically every day? And then it seems to compound–you made a small error on something for work, the doctor’s office you called that has great Yelp reviews doesn’t accept your shitty insurance like they supposedly did, and your chin acquired a painful zit overnight that probably looks like it’s taking up half your face.
Gradually, you feel like the day is going down the tubes. If someone asked you how your day went, you’d think about it and say, “It wasn’t that great.” While you were in the midst of it, it’d seem like it could get better, and anyway, every day doesn’t have to be the best day ever. But after a quick reflection, you’d realize that it was actually kind of shitty, that the ho-hum of your usual day was punctuated with small events that tipped the scales to make the day not good at all. And you find yourself in a funk, in a grumpy mood, and like the day was a total wash.
It’s only 12:30 (also part of the issue–how is it not anywhere near 5 p.m. right now?), and I can already tell this is the kind of day I’m having. I’m looking at recipes for sweet potatoes and smoothies and salads and NOT thinking, Maybe I’ll actually make these, maybe they’ll taste good, like I usually do. I’m thinking, No way I’ll ever actually choose to eat a sweet potato, I’m not putting cabbage in a smoothie or even bothering to make one before work, this salad will never fill me up at lunch.
I know it’s partly mental, and that you make choices throughout the day, and that you can choose to be happy. But when you’re not inspired, and you just want to go home and take a nap with your cats, it’s real hard to keep that in mind.
I also just realized it’s that time of the month for me. Totally forgot. This probably explains it. False alarm?